Otra Vez*

In soccer, if you play too hard, you get a yellow card. If you're even more aggressive, you get a red card. And if you play really really hard, you get a green card.

Old News*

There was a terrible earthquake in Mexico, in which many people died. France announced it would send food, the UK said it would send water, and the United States would send replacement Mexicans.

an Asian by any other name...

My brother in law said they should make women and old people renew their driver's licenses every few years.

I said, "That is repulsive to me. It is unfair and stupid to not include Asians on that list."

again with the asian humor...

"OK mom, Quick Books has been updated onto your laptop. I removed the hard drive from your old computer and I'll take your computer to Best Buy for recycling. What are you going to do when I'm gone?"

"I have no idea."

"Maybe you could adopt an Asian for your IT needs."

Ducks

"When are you free?"

"I'm unemployed, so I have the next 240 hours free."

"I can't do math, so..."

"10 days."

"Oh I get it. Cause there's 24 hours in a day and you have every hour free. So where'd you go to school?"

"OSU." [She glares at me, so I ask her,] "Are you a Duck?"

"Yes"

"I kinda figured after the 240 hour thing."

heh...

My coworker drives a Cadillac (all my coworkers drive really nice cars), and he said he was planning on lowering it, and I asked what the advantage was, and he said it's mainly about how it looks. I know some guys raise their trucks for the same reason. I suppose one could lower a truck for aesthetics, but my Spanish isn't nearly good enough to pull that off.

For example,

"You're going to be rooming with Koreans."

"Aw, what'd I do?"