Deep Thoughts*

If I ever get rich, I hope I'm not mean to poor people, like I am now.

I'd rather be short than dumb.

Just kidding!

I think I'm going to be completely appropriate during outreach, because there won't be any Koreans to make fun of. However, I am deathly afraid of black people, so that might be an issue.

Definitely Too Far Across the Line to Say...

Genocide humor isn't too popular these days, but...

My number one pick was India, so Dhishan told me to start learning about cricket. I ended up getting Rwanda, so I figured I ought to get into their national sport. The problem is, I'm not that great with a machete.

I totally said this...

I think we all struggle with insecurity about our looks at some point.
And we could learn to stop comparing ourselves to others.
Or we could just get rid of the Brazilians. That would lower the bar.

I didn't actually tell her this...

We had outreach tonight. There were different choices. I chose to serve dinner to a poor Marshallese community. They were mostly kids. The staff leader said if we can think of any projects for the kids to do, don't be shy about sharing. I didn't share, but I wanted to say, "Well, we could have them make clothes. I hear that's popular in some parts of the world."

Also, I was dishing bread onto plates, and we gave indiscriminately, but after seeing some kids, I chuckled to myself over the idea of saying, "Whoa there. No carbs for you."

An Actual Conversation...

(Our construction supervisor is an old guy named Larry.)
(Scott is one of my coworkers. He did a door handle backwards and had to redo it.)

Scott: "Sorry Larry. Just a brain fart."
Larry: "Where do you get that kind of language?"
Scott: "Oh sorry. I picked that up working up with my uncle."
Larry: "Well, the Bible says to only say wholesome words, so it's definitely something to think about."
Scott: "Is it the word 'fart' or just the concept of a 'brain fart'?"
Larry: "Well, just ask the Lord about it. Cause if He's neutral, than maybe you want to error on the side of caution. But it's definitely something to think about."

When Larry walks away, Scott said to me, "I wanted to say, 'Sorry Larry. I guess I just fucked up.'"

I've been making jokes about getting to say the word fart ever since.

Oh Stereotypes...

We're all gathered around to be picked up by the van, except for this one individual. I won't give any labels, but she has like a billion look-alikes. Anyway, she sat by herself and pulls out a really nice camera...

Work Duties

They were trying to pick a work duty for me, and I didn't want to do landscaping, so I assured them that my Spanish isn't that good.

A good comeback...

"If you're going to be that mean, then your low self esteem is just good common sense."

From an actual conversation (with an 18-year-old)...

Me: "Do you speak any languages?"

Her: "I took some Spanish. How bout you?"

"I speak Spanish."

"Oh! Como esta?"

"Bien."

"Hahahaha. 'Bien' is French. You mean 'bueno'."